


in your arms i long for freedom

by zenins



Category: Gintama
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, set during silver soul arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26375863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenins/pseuds/zenins
Summary: On their way to Edo together, they catch up on their missed years
Relationships: Sakata Gintoki/Takasugi Shinsuke
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	in your arms i long for freedom

Takasugi is woken up by a soft pat on his arm. When he opens his eyes, he finds Gintoki sitting by the side of the bed he's laying on. He doesn't recall how he even got to that bed. Last thing he remembers is having a cough font strong enough to make him fall on his knees. He doesn't want to think about it all, but he can still remember Gintoki's eyes full of concern on his or his hand gently rubbing his back, making circles trying to ease him, as if nothing had happened between them for the past years and they were still the same. He tries not to think about how likely it's that Gintoki picked him up, brought him and tucked him to sleep.

"I found tea in the kitchen of the boat. I made tea, maybe it helps you feel better" Gintoki proposes. It's out of his mind that Gintoki is being so gentle with him, he's awake enough to notice Gintoki’s caring look on his eyes. He chooses not to reply and instead stands up and follows Gintoki to the room they had been talking earlier about Utsuro. He notices two little cups full of tea, side by side in the middle of the table and a teapot. They sit in silence, shoulders knees almost brushing against each other. After Takasugi takes his first sip, he breaks the quiet.

"You still suck at making tea? Have you boiled it?" he asks, partly joking. He still has vivid memories of being a kid and Gintoki making the worst tea possible, enough to make Katsura tell him himself that the tea, indeed, tasted horrible.

"It's how the kids used to like it" Gintoki explains in a low voice 

"The kids." Takasugi repeats. "Don't you miss them?" 

"They'll live" Gintoki replies 

"Kagura is strong, isn't she?" 

"You've seen her fight, haven't you? She's strong enough to put up with you and leave with just some bad wounds" 

"I didn't mean it like that." Takasugi clarifies "Kamui told me a few things about their family, how things were with his father. She must have grown strong from that, doesn't she?" 

"Are you close with Kamui?" Gintoki asks, evading the question. 

Takasugi scoffs and looks directly at him "Close enough as acquaintances? can be" He pauses and looks down at his cup, now half empty despite his protests "He still seemed to like Bansai better than me, though" 

"Anyone with a brain would like Bansai more than you, bastard" Gintoki says frowning. "I heard, about what happened to him. I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Takasugi lies. Anyone who knew him close for the past years could understand perfectly why it was not okay, not at all. 

Trying to change the topic, Takasugi presses one more time, both because he doesn't want to think about Bansai right now and because he can't stand silences anymore when he's in Gintoki's company. "What about the brat with glasses. Is he strong enough?"

"Not as Kagura, but he's more determined and self-diligent than I will ever get to be." A proud smile tugs his lips. "I hate to admit it, but I have to thank you for helping him out in Rakuyou" 

"You know I saved him so I could go at you one more time,there's nothing to thank me for" Takasugi responses. It's a kind of a lie. He did have that reason to help the kid, but he also didn't know how he would ever look at Gintoki again knowing he didn't help his kid. Neither he wanted to see Gintoki lose someone dear to him again, as much as he pretended he didn't care about his ex-comrade in that way anymore.

Gintoki hums "Either ways..What's up with all this talking about them? Do  _ you  _ miss your subordinates?" 

"They'll live" Takasugi echoes back smiling. He knows Matako will try to follow him,even if it's to the depths of hell. But he can't help but wish she'd find another purpose, one that doesn't involve a man with counted days. Takechi could adapt to any circumstance, but he's proven to be more loyal than Takasugi would have thought. They'll learn to live with him, they'll  _ have  _ to. But his chest tightens a bit from thinking he will make them go through another loss after Bansai.

They fall into a silence again, it's not as oppressive as Takasugi would have thought it would be considering how they have treated each other during the past decade, though. There is so much left unsaid that Takasugi felt the urge to break it and do something. 

"You know, what I said earlier..I mean it. We can save now what we couldn't back then. I forgave you, long time ago" Gintoki's eyes widen with surprise as Takasugi starts to smile a little. "It'd be like the old times, you and I against the world"

"It wouldn't" Gintoki says a bit rougher than he probably intended to. "You and I, we are not kids anymore. You've changed and so I have. What we fought for back then..it's nothing like this. We might be fighting to protect the ones we love again, but everyone's life is on the border too,Takasugi" 

"Do you think I'm stupid? My own life is on the line, remember? I won't live much past this, probably and.." He's about to continue when Gintoki cuts him off

"When this is over, come with me." He says the words so quickly and with such urgency that Takasugi almost fears he has mistaken what he had just said. He doesn't know which face he had made to make Gintoki continue, but he does "Come with me. Whether it's to Edo or somewhere a bit further from my home,don't leave this time again" Takasugi looks away, he doesn't want to face Gintoki's soft look on him; decades have made him learn what Gintoki's eyes means and do not. 

"And do what?" He chuckles "Do odd jobs too? Start a new business like Sakamoto? Wander like Katsura?"

"Anything. Anything,really" Gintoki stops himself, almost as if he was trying to gather his thoughts before putting them into spoken words "The world has changed, Takasugi" He holds Takasugi's gaze "There's much more you can do now, more than before and it will be even more after this war. There are endless possibilities for us now, it's not like when we were teenagers" 

"Are you pitying a dying man, Gintoki? It doesn't suit you" He smirks "I am gonna be gone after this. I have his blood, remember? There's no way we can stop it,even if I wanted to. And what I want, it doesn't matter anymore" 

"We will. I will. We will find a solution this time, together. I mean it. And once this is all over, you can be free. Or stay with me in Edo" Gintoki brings his left hand to grab Takasugi’s. Takasugi notices they are a bit shaky, as if Gintoki hadn't been so sure if this was the correct move. Hands calloused from grabbing a sword more than anyone should ever have to, hold his cold hand. "I won't leave you to die alone"

Takasugi intertwined their fingers together. He feels like he's back to the war, and he's grabbed Gintoki's hand for the first time while the silver haired young man was looking at the moon with tired eyes. With their hands pressed together, he decides he can hope a bit more. Try it this time. Build a better world, next to him. As they both had wanted when their only worries were finishing the tasks Shouyou had assigned them. 

"Okay" He squeezes Gintoki's hands. "We will protect what's dear to us this time" 

**Author's Note:**

> happy takagin day again ohohoh i decided to post this other draft too :) tittle comes from hunger by aurora!!


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